THE LAST COMMUNIQUE FROM HOLLYWOODHIGHLANDS.ORG DURING THE DYING MOMENTS OF THE BANKRUPT VILLARAIGOSA ADMINISTRATION!
"Twenty Minutes under Hollywood!" LA Mayor & His Magic Bus Lay Subterranean Giant Turkey Egg!DURING FINAL FAREWELL 24-HOUR DRAGGED-OUT BUS TOUR ANTONIO'S COLOSSAL EGO GETS RUN OVER BY NEAR EMPTY REDLINE SUBWAY TRAIN!LA MAYOR VILLARAIGOSA MIRRORS INFAMOUS CHARLIE SHEEN PHOTO FOR NEWS CAMERAS AT SUBWAY STATION WITH "WORLD'S GREATEST GADFLY" JOHN WALSH AS SOBER STAND-IN!"20 Minutes Under Hollywood!"Departing LA Mayor's Nocturnal Magical Mystery Tour lays subterranean giant speckled turkey egg Friday night while Antonio buries the hatchet with perennial antagonist, Über Gadfly, John Walsh, by way of fond embrace at practically deserted Red Line "mass" transit subway station in front of Antonio-worshiping shutter-bugs!Outgoing Mayor Villaraigosa semi-officially washes his hands and transfers "unwelcome" custody of Hyper-Critic John Walsh to incoming Mayor Garcetti at little-noticed 24-hour Farewell Bus Tour Marathon runs out of gas!FRIDAY NIGHT ALSO HIGHLIGHTED THE BIG SUBWAY RIDERSHIP FIZZLE FOR OUR "INSANE" RAIL BOOSTER MAYOR AND HIS REPORTER/ EDITOR SUPER-OBEDIENT LOVE SLAVES OVER AT THE LOS ANGELES TIMES!
UNDERGROUND HOLLYWOOD IGNORES OUTGOING MAYOR, LEAVING "SINGLE" FATHER OF THE REDLINE SUBWAY SORT OF RED-FACED... WITH NOTHING MUCH FOR THE CITY HEAD HONCHO TO DO TO PLEASE NEWS CAMERAS WHILE STANDING IN FRONT OF THE BURIED TRAIN LOBBY'S STILL UN-LOCKED TURNSTILES , EXCEPT TO TRY IN VAIN TO HOLD A NEWS CONFERENCE ON THE SPOT WITHOUT ANY DAMN NEWS TO ANNOUNCE" AND JOHN WALSH HECKLING HIM!INSTEAD OF HAVING WALSH REMOVED THE WILEY MAYOR RESORTED TO CLOWNING AROUND WITH ANCIENT NEMESIS, JOHN WALSH,AND THEN INTRODUCING HIMSELF TO A SCANT NUMBER OF REALLY PUZZLED NON-ENGLISH-SPEAKING, SUBWAY-TAKING ASIAN TOURIST/STRAGGLERS 100 FEET BENEATH THE FAMED TINSELTOWN INTERSECTION OF HOLLYWOOD AND VINE!WHEN SCHEDULING THIS ABORTIVE SUBMERGED PR "NOTHING MUCH" HAPPENING,THE DWINDLING MAYOR MUST HAVE FERVENTLY BELIEVED THE LA SUBWAY'S OFFICIAL FEDERAL RIDERSHIP PROJECTION FOUND IN THE DC ENVIRONMENTAL REVIEW DOCUMENTS OF 300,000 DAILY PASSENGER BOARDINGS BY THE YEAR 2000!HOWEVER, THE MTA'S OWN CURRENT YEAR SUBWAY RIDERSHIP BOARDING STATISTICS IS A VERY DISAPPOINTING HALF THAT AT 150,000 DAILY RED LINE SUBWAY ONE-WAY TRIPS PER WEEKDAY...THAT MEANS THE VAUNTED LA SUBWAY IN 2013 IS ALREADY THIRTEEN YEARS BEHIND ITS PROMISED RIDERSHIP TIMETABLE AND THIS YAWNING NUMBERS GAP ONLY CONTINUES TO WIDEN!IT IS HIGHLY DOUBTFUL THAT THE REDLINE SUBWAY WILL EVER DOUBLE ITS CURRENT DEEPLY DISAPPOINTING RIDERSHIP TOTALS TO ACHIEVE ITS "IMPOSSIBLE-DREAM" FEDERAL GOAL MANDATE!THE MAYOR SAW PROOF OF THIS NEWSMEDIA-IGNORED KEY FACT WITH HIS OWN TWO EYES FRIDAY EVENING WHEN NO ONE BOTHERED TO SHOW UP AT HIS REDLINE RAIL CELEBRATION THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO OCCUR IN THE BOWELS OF THE LA SUBWAY SYSTEM AT 8:30 PM SHARP!IN SHORT: "THEY BUILT IT AND HARDLY ANYBODY WILL COME"!SO....ANTONIO AND WALSH DECIDED RIGHT THERE AND THEN OUT OF SHEER BOREDOM TO SHOOT ONE ANOTHER ...WITH VIDEO, OF COURSE!THE MAYOR SWIFTLY GRABBED A HANDY CAMERA AND APPROACHED TARGET WALSH STRAIGHT-0N, SHOOTING HIM FACE-TO-FACE WHILE ANTONIO GOT SHOT IN REVERSE BY THE "GADFLY'S" OWN LENS!(ASK ANTONIO TO RELEASE HIS TAPED VERSION OF THE RUN-IN!)(HERE ARE MORE DEVILISH DETAILS!)Mayoral Magic BUS ARRIVAL in Hollywood: 8:35 PM .Mayoral Magic BUS DEPARTURE for Sepulveda Rec Center in the Valley: 8:55 ...not a minute too soon to terminate this pesky embarrassment!Nothing drives the Mayor crazier than not being recognized at one of his own preening public events...in front of news cameras no less. DOUBLE OUCH!!Get used to it, Mr. Ex-Mayor---From now on, you shall be merely referred to as: Citizen Villaraigosa!Against his will ,the political has-been formerly known as "Hizzoner" is turning into "yesterday's mashed potatoes"... thanks to our Mayoral Term Limits Law!
The plan might have looked really promising on paper for Antonio to be swamped by thankful subway riders on their way to a big "Hollyweird" Friday Night on the Town at the below ground "transit hub" that the Amazing Shrinking Mayor was egomaniacally instrumental in building and ballyhooing; but the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry!
Inevitably, the whole set-up turned out to be quite a mini-media fiasco for the fast-fading fickle Mayor as each tick of the clock was seriously eating away at Tony Villaraigosa's precious few remaining hours as Chief Executive of the second largest metropolis in America!
The Mayor's private Magic Bus harbored just a dozen or so hard-core party-hearty Villaraigosa hangers-on who reverently followed Antonio,("I'm still the Mayor, thank you! ") Villaraigosa out of the bus and down two MTA station levels on a pair of creaky,chronically under-repair seldom-in-working order escalators to the oh-so isolated ticket machines lined up side by side against one grimy wall of a practically-deserted dingy underground station lobby devoid of humanity!
The Mayor's brains trust desperately seeking to salvage this misbegotten photo-op suggested to their Big Boss and his anemic entourage that they hang-out for just a few minutes more until the next subway train arrives at the desolate Metro subway station, hopefully coming to Antonio's rescue by unloading a horde of subway passengers, excitedly pushing one another out of the way to frantically surround the Mayor in abject adoration!
Thus creating that marvelous photo opportunity for Antonio's well-paid personal Videographer to memorialize this momentous non-event, as witnessed by a micro-throng of Antonio cultist...with the quasi-notable exception of John Walsh (and his trusty I-pad) ,who had walked two short blocks from his abode situated at HOLLYWOODHIGHLANDS.ORG WORLD HEADQUARTERS on Yucca at Argyle to be there and create a subterranean Mayoral confrontation that ultimately transformed itself into a farewell love fest between these two longtime grudge-bearing nasty political foes!
The deeply-interred clique of Mayoral-sycophants clucks was impatiently waiting for any old packed Redline train to arrive and deposit its swarm of motley passengers who had to be hell bent on surrounding "the Movie Star Mayor" while playing the roles of passionate Antonio admirers at the Hollywood & Vine Decrepit Sunken Subway Station.Villaraigosa and Walsh, who first met during Antonio's early years a quarter of a century ago when Antonio was a lowly LA teachers' union organizer and Walsh was a lowly LAUSD teacher and union member, made the simultaneous madcap decision to go ahead and shoot one-another......with video,that is!
Nostalgia for the good old days gripped the pair who hugged at the Mayor's insistence for the incredulous camera operators, which is the closest Walsh ever got to a $1,500 men's suit!
Just as Nixon didn't have the Press to kick around any longer...very, very, very soon neither will Walsh have Mayor V. to kick around any longer!
Just then "America's 'Least' Wanted" John Walsh made a flash counter-intuitive decision to try and rescue Antonio's media event from disaster by turning himself into a shrill-voiced barker in order to funnel some desperately-needed hand-shakers towards the solitary figure of poor old lobby-lizard,Antonio V. , managing to lure into becoming Mayor Antonio aficionados two or three of the painfully few rail riders who happened to jump off that latest train to stop at the almost vacant HollywoodWhen these seriously needing-safety-repairs Red Line subway cars finally pulled into the station tardily, most of the handful of debarking Hollywood riders turned out to be rather bewildered foreign tourists who found themselves greeted by the Walsh pitch that must have sounded a bit weird to their ears!"Ladies and Gentlemen, step this way and shake hands with the Mayor of Los Angeles...I'm not kidding...Honest to God! "
After the Mayor got the un-expected silent treatment from a forlorn handful of disoriented touristic passers-by, mixed in with a sprinkling of un-interested local yokel public transit rider-types, Walsh hurried after the mini-flock and convinced a some of the slow walkers to comeback and press the flesh with a sadly deflated, formerly prideful Mayor of LA!At that pointless juncture,the soon-to-be- permanently-departed Mayor of LA, who never wished to be a glutton for punishment, quickly decided to beat a hasty retreat toward the relative safety of his street-level charter bus that was simply sitting there upstairs in front of the Hollywood & Vine Subway Station.... enjoying LA City Traffic Officer parking ticket immunity!
Antonio had arrived in the Motion Picture Capital of the World by bus 5 minutes late according to his own schedule,and now Antonio was more than delighted to check out of Glitter Gulch on that very same bus 5 minutes early... amounting to the Mayor's full "Twenty Minutes Under Hollywood" !
As Villaraigosa made his private escape inside his very own darkened-windowed charter bus (paid for in full by city taxpayers thankful to get rid of him for that relatively small price), Yours Truly pointedly shouted to the Mayor over the heavy street traffic noise that everybody in Hollywood anxiously looked forward to Antonio's next personal appearance at a Metro Rail Redline Station slated to occur sometime in 2018 when the Ex-Mayor of LA has vowed he'll be running again...this time for Governor of California against Lt. Governor Gavin Newsom!In the meantime,let's contribute the helpful suggestion that this same ex-Mayor of Los Angeles,might try showing up at the Tinseltown Red Line subway lobby on weekends every once in a while to sell his autographed photos underground for $2 apiece...the same thing that other faded Hollywood celebrities do to make some spending cash at fan conventions!The Big Question remains: When will Antonio throw in the towel and quit searching endlessly for that perpetually elusive next hIgh-paying scum-suck political gig that pays as well as his last 8-years-long engagement sitting on top of Los Angeles City Hall ,attracting to himself nothing much more than lots and lots and lots of empty media attention, leaving the City slightly worse off than when he defeated Mayor Hahn?So far no Big Dough job offers for Antonio have materialized because of the genuine fear among his potential employers that additional Charlie Sheen-Antonio Villaraigosa party pictures may be a lot more shocking than the first one that mysteriously appeared on the World Wide Web .If somebody prestigious hires Villaraigosa in the near future for big bucks, the consequent media splash might very well trigger the popping-up on the Internet of some more of those highly embarrassing photos from that set of candid (porno?) pictures taken of Antonio and others courtesy of the Mexican Drug Cartel that owns the Ganzo Holel in Baja California where The Mayor was staying as a freeloading guest of the"gangster" management at the same location where Antonio initially got caught unawares and tie-less by Charlie's probing camera as well as the hotel's own security surveillance camera system!Cross your fingers and pray for him!John Walsh